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Laura Bates is the co-founder of The Everyday Sexism Project which collects stories of sexual harassment and gender discrimination from minor incidents to more severe situations.

When teachers punish girls for wearing clothes deemed 'too distracting' for boys to handle, it teaches a damaging lesson

Some of our most powerful and lasting ideas about the world around us are learned at school. Hard work pays off. Success comes from working together. Girls’ bodies are dangerous and harassment is inevitable.

This might sound inflammatory, but it is not an exaggeration. It is the overriding message being sent to thousands of students around the world by sexist school dress codes and the way in which they are enforced.

In the past month alone a Canadian teen says she was given detention for wearing a full length maxi dress because it violated her school dress code by showing her shoulders and back and a UK school announced plans to ban skirts altogether.

These are just the most recent cases in an ever-growing list that has seen shoulders and knees become a battleground, leggings and yoga pants banned and girls in some cases reportedly told to flap their arms up and down while their attire was inspected, or asked to leave their proms because chaperones considered their dresses too ‘sexual’ or ‘provocative’.

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Many schools respond to criticism of dress codes by citing the importance of maintaining a ‘distraction free’ learning environment, or of teaching young people about the importance of dressing appropriately for different occasions.

But at the Everyday Sexism Project, where people from around the world share their experiences of gender inequality, we have received over a hundred testimonies from girls and young women who are affected by the dress codes and feel a strong sense of injustice.

One such project entry read:“I got dress coded at my school for wearing shorts. After I left the principal’s office with a detention I walked past another student wearing a shirt depicting two stick figures: the male holding down the females head in his crotch and saying ‘good girls swallow’. Teachers walked right past him and didn’t say a thing.”

Girls are repeatedly told the reason they have to cover up to avoid ‘distracting’ their male peers, or making male teachers ‘uncomfortable’…

“At my school our dress code dictates everything about a girls outfit: knee length shorts or skirts only, no cleavage, no bra straps, no tank tops. We can’t even wear flip flops, and girls will be given detentions and sent home for breaking any one of these rules. There’s no dress code for men, and the reasoning? Girls can’t dress “provacatively” [sic] because it could distract and excite the boys.”

I can’t help feeling there is a powerful irony in accusing a girl of being ‘provocative’ – in projecting that societal assumption onto her adolescent body – before she is even old enough to have learned how to correctly spell the word.

One student says she was given three specific reasons for the school dress code:“1) There are male teachers and male sixth formers [high school seniors]

2) Teachers feel uncomfortable around bras etc.

3) Don’t want the boys to target you or intimidate you”.

This sends an incredibly powerful message. It teaches our children that girls’ bodies are dangerous, powerful and sexualised, and that boys are biologically programmed to objectify and harass them. It prepares them for college life, where as many as one in five women is sexually assaulted but society will blame and question and silence them, while perpetrators are rarely disciplined.

The problem is often compounded by a lack of any attempt to discipline boys for harassing behavior, which drives home the message that it is the victim’s responsibility to prevent. We have received thousands of testimonies from girls who have complained about being verbally harassed, touched, groped, chased, followed, licked, and assaulted at school, only to be told: “he just likes you”, or: “boys will be boys”. The hypocrisy is breath taking.

Meanwhile, the very act of teachers calling young girls out for their attire projects an adult sexual perception onto an outfit or body part that may not have been intended or perceived as such by the student herself. It can be disturbing and distressing for students to be perceived in this way and there is often a strong element of shame involved.

“I’ve been told by a teacher that the way I was wearing my socks made me look like a prostitute in my first year of school, making me 13, and I’ve been asked whether I’m ashamed of myself because I rolled my skirt up,” wrote one young woman.

The codes aren’t just problematic for sexist reasons. One project entry reads:“At age 10 I was pulled out of my fifth grade class for a few minutes for a ‘special health lesson’. As an early bloomer, I already had obvious breasts and was the tallest in my class. I thought they were giving me a paper about reproductive health that’s normally given to the 12 year old girls. Instead I was told to cover my body more because I was different.”

Other incidents have also seen boys banned from school for having hair ‘too long’ or wearing traditionally ‘feminine’ fashion, from skinny jeans to skirts. A transgender student said he was threatenedwith having his photo barred from the school yearbook simply because he chose to wear a tuxedo to prom. Black girls are more likely to be targeted for ‘unacceptable’ hairstyles. The parents of a 12-year old African American student said she was threatened with expulsion for refusing to cut her naturally styled hair. Her mother was told she violated school dress codes for being “a distraction”.

At this point it starts to feel like such ‘codes’ are less about protecting children and more about protecting strict social norms and hierarchies that refuse to tolerate difference or diversity.

This is a critical moment. The school dress code debate will be dismissed by many for being minor or unimportant, but it is not.

When a girl is taken out of class on a hot day for wearing a strappy top, because she is ‘distracting’ her male classmates, his education is prioritized over hers. When a school takes the decision to police female students’ bodies while turning a blind eye to boys’ behavior, it sets up a lifelong assumption that sexual violence is inevitable and victims are partially responsible. Students are being groomed to perpetuate the rape culture narrative that sits at the very heart of our society’s sexual violence crisis. It matters very much indeed.

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When Memory Banda's younger sister was forced to marry at just 11 years old, Memory became determined to ensure that no more girls had to experience her sister's fate. Since then, this remarkable young woman from rural Malawi has helped to persuade her government to raise the minimum age of marriage across her country, and is blazing a trail for girls that we all should follow.

Memory's sister became pregnant during a traditional sexual "cleansing ceremony," a rite of passage in some parts of Malawi that is supposed to prepare pubescent girls for womanhood and marriage. She was forced to marry the father of her unplanned child, a man in his early 30s, and was burdened with all the responsibilities of adulthood. Now 16, she is raising three children alone; she has been unable to return to school.

The incident inspired Memory to push for a better future for girls. She became involved with a local grassroots group, Girls Empowerment Network, joining other young women and civil-society groups across Malawi to urge village authorities and parliamentary ministers to put an end to child marriages. Last month, Memory's efforts—along with those of thousands of others—paid off, when Malawi's government enacted a new law that sets the minimum age for marriage at 18.

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Memory's achievement is an important one. Every year, some 15 million girls are married before the age of 18, and their plight is all too often ignored. A girl forced into marriage typically faces pressure to bear children before she is physically or emotionally ready to do so. And the result can be deadly. Girls who give birth before they turn 15 are five times more likely to die in pregnancy or childbirth than women in their 20s.

The consequences of child marriage are lifelong. Child brides typically drop out of school, losing the chance to acquire the skills and knowledge needed to lift themselves and their families out of poverty. Like Memory's sister, they often are married to older men—a situation that leaves them less able to ensure that they are treated well. Can you imagine trying to stand up to a man you did not choose, you do not love, and who does not respect you?

Education for girls is crucial to ending child marriage. The transition from primary school to secondary school is particularly important, as it usually coincides with adolescence, a period in a girl's life that lays the foundation for success and wellbeing in womanhood. Girls with secondary education are up to six times less likely to marry early compared to girls with little or no education. An educated woman is also likely to bear fewer children and is able to plan for a healthier, more prosperous future for herself and her family.

Girls must be convinced and assured of their worth. In places like India, Tanzania, and Zambia, girls' empowerment clubs, in which members share their challenges and learn how to overcome them, have proved their effectiveness. Such clubs give girls the confidence and skills they need to take control of the major decisions in their lives—including whether, when, and whom they will marry.

But girls should not be left to end child marriage on their own. Child marriage occurs in a wide variety of countries, religions, and cultures, and families, communities, and societies share a joint responsibility to end it. Governments need to adopt legislation that sets 18 as the minimum age for marriage—leaving no room for exceptions such as traditional practices or parental consent.

Fathers, brothers, and male leaders must be engaged to care for and empower girls. Support should be given to civil-society groups that conduct dialogues with parents, teachers, and traditional leaders to build community awareness of the consequences of child marriage.

Girls hold the key to building thriving societies. It is up to all of us to serve as role models for the girls in our lives. We have all benefited from the wisdom of our parents, partners, colleagues, and mentors. It is now up to us to nourish and nurture girls' ambitions. We must bring to an end a practice that prevents millions of them from reaching their potential. Let girls be girls, not brides.

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I'm constantly being asked for tips about how to transport a wedding gown to a destination wedding in the easiest and safest way possible. Is it okay to ship? Is that absolutely taboo? How do they fit that huge garment bag on the plane? It's a real concern, especially for brides who've invested literally thousands of dollars in a designer wedding gown for their special day. And airline carry-on restrictions haven't made things any easier.

How do you think wedding gowns get from the manufacturer to the bridal shop? It's perfectly safe to ship your wedding gown to your destination IF YOU HAVE SOMEBODY TO RECEIVE IT ON THE OTHER END. I don't mean the banquet manager at some random hotel -- I mean a wedding planner or a specific vendor you trust or who is handling all of your other shipments. To send it blind to a hotel or rental agency is foolish as you have nobody to hold accountable when you arrive and nobody can find the box. Don't risk it.

But if you do have a landing point you trust at your destination, shipping your wedding gown works just fine. Just following these five tips:

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1) Make sure you know which shippers service your destination on which days -- not everybody comes to our island every day, for example. Oftentimes, the U.S. Postal Service remains your best bet. Coordinate this with the person you're shipping to and if they tell you to use one particular company, listen to them! They have no motive to lie. Just because you can get away with sending it out free from your company's corporate account doesn't make it a good idea if you've been told that shipper is not particularly reliable at your destination.

2) Let your bridal shop pack your wedding gown into the box for you after your final fitting, and then do not take it out. Resist the urge to model it again because you will never get all that tissue paper back exactly where it needs to go for your dress to arrive in good condition. Do not attempt to pack your gown yourself if you're buying it someplace -- they have the boxes and the know-how to stuff it properly. Your bridal shop may argue with you and tell you that it's not safe to mail it, but you are the customer. It's their job to give you the dress however you request it. Some boutiques will kindly mail it for you (and bill you through the wazoo for it). You're better off mailing it yourself so you can make sure it's done properly.

3) Label the box "WEDDING GOWN" in huge letters all over, and write the receiver's phone number on it in several locations. Delivery people are human beings with feelings, and most of them will take extra special care if they know they're carrying your wedding gown.

4) Insure the box for as much money as possible. U.S. Mail maxes out at $5,000. Other shippers have different restrictions. If your dress cost more than $5,000, consider using those. Otherwise, insure that dress to the hilt. I firmly believe that they treat well-insured packages better than they do regular old parcel post with no insurance. And insurance isn't that expensive.

5) Send your wedding gown via the fastest shipping method available.High priority mail is treated better, moves faster and is less likely to end up on the bottom of a pile for days with heavy packages on top of it. Make sure the person receiving your dress on the other end is well aware that it's on its way, and how it's coming. Then stay in touch until it arrives.

If you're sending your gown to your wedding planner, you can ask her to take it out of the bag and hang it up when it arrives. A tropical climate's humidity might just steam out any wrinkles before you've even arrived. If you're sending it to a stranger, have them leave it in the sealed box because you have no idea where they're going to be storing it or if there's a big hairy black dog hanging around nearby to shed on it.

Don't forget to pack a portable steamer or iron -- check with the bridal shop to see what the best method is for touching up your gown and veil if necessary. They know their products best and can give you the best advice. Be prepared ahead of time. If your destination is remote, you could be out of luck trying to borrow a steam at the last minute.

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She is, as a rule, always well-dressed.

But it seems that Alex Jones decided to pull out all the stops when it came to attending the BAFTA Television Awards on Sunday Evening.

The brunette beauty wowed onlookers in a show-stopping red dress as she attended the annual ceremony with handsome partner Charlie Thompson.

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Wow-factor: BBC1's Alex Jones decided to pull out all the stops when it came to attending the BAFTA Television Awards on Sunday Evening

The brunette beauty commanded attention in the daring number, which featured both a cleavage-enhancing neckline and a thigh-high slit.

She matched the look with a twisted, side-plait and some dazzling diamond earrings.

Adding some subtle make-up and a golden summer glow, she capped the look with a pair of Kylie Minogue-esque gold heels.

Together, the look was surely one of her more dramatic red carpet moments - although she was happy to admit that the gown was snug.

'It's very tight', she told an interviewer, who was quick to comment the femme-fatale aesthetic.

Meanwhile, handsome Charlie was no less attractive, smouldering in a classic dress suit with a masculine monochrome look.

Embracing each other for photographs, the pair looked as inseparable as ever. And equally as glamorous.

It has been several months since Alex announced her engagement to Charlie, but recently admitted that she and her fiance haven't set a date yet.

'We haven't set a date, I don't know if it's a thing? Is that what you do when you get engaged?' the Welsh presenter said during an appearance on ITV1's Lorraine.

Ms Kelly then reassured her: 'I think people sort of expect you [to get married] at some point, maybe in a year or two I guess.'

Alex said: 'We're very relaxed, I mean disorganised really. So mum is pushing. She said, 'You know we could do this by the end of the year if you and Charlie get a move on.'

'But we haven't looked at anywhere but it would be nice to do it within the next few months.'

She added: '[The wedding will] be just with our close friends and family and a day when everybody can have a bit of a laugh.

'Words like 'favours' and 'bridesmaids' and 'colour schemes' are starting to get on my nerves already. I think everybody turn up, there'll be some wine and it'll be a nice day.'

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Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs are reportedly planning to get hitched THIS summer.

The Hollywood heartthrob, who is rumoured to have got engaged to the singer after just six months of dating, aim to tie the knot in a low-key ceremony in London.

A source told the new issue of Grazia magazine that Twigs, real name Tahliah Debrett Barnett, wants to get married sooner rather than later and have what she's calling a 'bangers and mash' wedding.

"She'd like a low-key registry office ceremony, pub lunch and party with their friends. They're talking about August," the source said.

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The pair could wed this summer

And the 27-year-old hitmaker - who rocked up at last night's Met Gala wearing an erotic dress with a PENIS on it - also plans to shun a traditional white gown for her big day. Well, we're not surprised.

The source added: "Tahliah doesn't intend to wear white. She wants this to be fun and a bit different."

Twigs definitely displayed her unique style when she walked the red carpet with RPatz in New York on Monday night and flashed her huge sparkling engagement ring.

However, the bride-to-be's ideas are said to be at odds with what the 28-year-old actor's family dreamed of for his big day.

The source said: "Rob's camp suggested Salisbury Cathedral, as apparently his family has close ties but he and Tahliah want something a bit less stuffy."

It was recently claimed Robert, who has been dating the singer for just six months, is considering inviting his ex-girlfriend Kristen Stewart to his wedding but we really can't imagine that happening.

The duo split in 2013, just eight months after Kristen admitted to cheating with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, who was married at the time.

However, a source said: "Robert has been giving serious thought into inviting Kristen to his wedding.

"They shared so much of their lives together, and both came to huge prominence at the same time with one another thanks to the Twilight movies, so they'll always have something in common."

We just can't wait to see what Twigs will wear on her big day!

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